did you have gps on us or something?! So in the end, me and XH went out to do our stuff. Then after that talk then we went to value shop to buy food. Came back to library and talk again. Then some fucking XingNan kids. WAH BUEY TAHAN SIA. Keep on giggling. Then XH started SHHHHing them. Then they shhhhh back. So after a few minutes, my patience can't take it. I shout " OI CHAMBALANG! QUIET LARH!" So they keep quiet abit. Then they started quoting my words in high-pitched voice. What i was thinking that time: A bunch of pre-puberty girls. tsk tsk. Dog nia only know how to follow my words. Honoured to be your master :) . After an adult went in, WHOA DIAM DIAM LIAO WORH. SOOOOO Scared arh? Anyways when i scold them, i think they are scared abit. Cause seriously, hiding in the back and don't dare to see limbei scolding them. Wishing ben was there man. Didn't go all out since they are small kids. SOMEMORE CHINA. Cannot tahan them. Nowadays kids, tsk tsk tsk tsk. So around 5+ my mom called and ask me to buy i-weekly im like okay... Bought it, come back. Then she asked if i vacuum the floor. WHAT. THE. FUCK?! Since when she said that man? And she started RANTING what she say already and all the crap etc. And use the word “屁” Yea when i used that, she just pinch me. So adults can do that and we can't? Oh YAH! I forgot. Adults have the rights to do whatever things they like. >.> At some point i cried. Cause the whole way through when she was blaming me. I was admitting whatever shit that came out from her mouth. I have realised what I had turned into. A family loser that sucks all the trouble. Related or not, I'm the one who caused all troubles. I'm the one. She then asked WHY AM I CRYING?! IF YOU ARE IN WRONG, YOU SHOULD CHANGE INSTEAD OF CRYING. Change? She is telling me to change? What does she want me to turn into? A bloody robot? In fact from all my friends, none of them have any problem with me at all. I thought my character was right. I cared about how people think of me and everything. Now she is telling to change? Yea for sure I can imagine myself ditching my friends, withdrawing from NightMareZ, studying whole day long. I can imagine the result of it. It is me, being friendless, numb, no more feelings, no better than a robot. Crying? That word reminded me of something my tuition teacher said. Just cause its one of his days and some girl started crying. He said, "WHY are you crying? Am i wrong? Only people that are being misunderstood cries." I cried because i'm being misunderstood. I'm just telling my real feelings anyways. Where was I wrong? Not everything bullshit that hit my house it my fault. Look at my purr-fect brother there. Isn't he a fake? Just someone who looks perfect to my mother. Someone with no faults. Someone that is trying to get on my mother's good sight. I remembered there was once I was getting scold by my mother for reading storybooks. Then she went and looked at my brother, there he was, studying. So she started praising. HA! HAHAHAHAHA WHAT A JOKE! JUST BECAUSE SECONDS AGO WHEN I PAST BY, MY BRO WAS READING STORY BOOK. And when i tried telling my mother that she just shoo me off. I looked at my brother and he was laughing and mouthed what? I know I just imagined a scene that during my birthday i was in my room with a cake i bought with my own money. My relatives are outside with my fam merry making. I called up Eclipse, they started singing the song. And there i was left alone in my room eating a whole cake, tears rolling down. I realised I have no status in this family anymore. Just an excuse for my brother/mother when they got into trouble. Feeling like total crap now. Eclipse having problem and I need to deal with it. No status in Family. God, i wonder what will i get during my birthday? High possibility a whole lot of new crap to deal with. Lets just say if Eclipse's situation isn't anymore good, i'm gonna leave them alone for now. Its too much for me.
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